Monday, September 30, 2024

Scenes from Helene

Wednesday:

It’s been raining hard for days.  I have my car and mom’s car in the parking area, but also my cousin Halcott’s RV. I let him keep it there so that when I’m out of town, he’ll come by to check on it and the house. It’s a good trade.  Halcott and I discuss the plan.

Me: I wanna move my car and mom’s truck down to main street away from the trees. Then you can park your RV closer to the house away from the trees.

Halcott: That  was going to be my suggestion.

Me: The rain is the thing I’m most worried about. We’ve had all this rain before the big storm even comes. I’m worried about the roots coming  free because the ground is saturated.

H: Yes.

Thursday morning:

Halcott and I and Mom meet to take the cars down.

Mom: I don’t think we need to move the cars.

Me: What basis do you have for that? You have no idea what you’re talking about.

Mom: It doesn’t seem bad.

Me: We have trees come down all the time here. Three of them landed on Halcott’s RV two years ago. We get 30-50mph gusts starting November, but those come from the west. I think we’re only going to be getting 10-30mph from this storm, but they’re going to be coming from the south and east and the trees might snap because of that, if they don’t fall over from the ground being soaked through.

Halcott: Yes.

Thursday evening:

Me: I’ll sleep out on the couch. I want you to sleep downstairs in my bed.

Mom: No. I wanna stay upstairs in my bed up there. I have it the way I want it.

Me:  If a tree comes down or snaps, I don’t want you impaled.

Mom: That’s not going to happen. I’ll be fine.

Me: Again…you say that based on what? I live up here. You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.  Trees snap all the time. I pay a fortune to the tree guy to cut down trees every year. Your happy feeling isn’t going to stop a tree from coming through and spearing you.

Mom: How about I stay up there, but if you really think it’s an issue later, I’ll come down to the couch if you tell me to?

Me: And you’re not going to argue if I do that?

Mom: No.

Friday morning (about 5am; dark)

Me: Mom. Time to go downstairs. Wind’s picked up.

She complies.

Power goes out about 6am. I hear cracking and snapping outside

7am. Daylight.

I get a text from my cousin William that maybe we should move our cars since the wind is whipping and he’s worried a branch will get his corvette or new truck. I text back, “Too late. I did that yesterday.”  

I go to the dining room door and video out back. It’s raining heavily.  The tarp Halcott put over the RV has been blown off some. 



The tree tops are whipping around. 


There are leaves all over the porch and the porch is soaked, but nothing major appears to be happening.



 I empty the freezer and fridge into my marine cooler.  I look out the front door window and it looks like a tree is down in my neighbor’s yard across the street.  Mom’s tooling around on her iPad. I tell her she might wanna conserve battery,  but she says she has two backup battery packs. She’s watching radar, so cell signal is working.

10am.

The wind has not let up. Surprising that it’s lasted this long.

Noon.

The wind appears to have died down. I hear beeping like maybe from a power truck. It’s still raining, but lighter. I put on ratty old sneakers, basketball shorts, and a camo gortex jacket.  My back yard is strewn with leaves. 


As I walk down the driveway, I look at my heavily wooded side lot. I spot a tree (I think a Locust) that snapped half-way up. 


At the end of the driveway, a powerline is down across it.  At the street,  I look down one way; it’s messy with leaves. There’s a snapped power pole in front of my side lot. 


I turn the other  direction. There’s a mini-excavator at the top of the hill.


I look over and my neighbors’ largest tree has gone right the hell over and wiped out the majority of their front porch and part of their great room. I take a picture and text them (they’re out of town), “I have terrible news for you.” I text the picture.











As I get to the top of the hill, the mini-excavator isn’t the power company. It’s my tree-cutting guy and his worker.  I express shock at the amount of trees down. He guesses it may be weeks before the power comes back on. He heads off to open up more roads.

I go to my other neighbor on my side of the road and check out their house. There are two trees down in the back yard, but there’s minimal damage. I text them (they live in Sumter), “No damage to your roof. Tree came down in your back yard. Messed up under porch trellis.”


I come back to the street and look across to other neighbors.  My heart sinks. There’s a gigantic tree that’s gone into their house, about where I know their bedroom is.  





Am I going to find dead folks?  I knock on the door. Nothing. I knock louder. Nothing. I try the handle and the door opens. “Susan? David? It’s me, Andre.”

I hear noise from kitchen. I come in. Susan is getting herself out of the nest of couch cushions she’s set up on the floor in there. She doesn’t look traumatized, per se. She looks tired/weary. 

“We’re okay. It came through the bedroom while we were in bed. But we’re fine."  She walks past me and indicates for me to follow. We go to the bedroom. There’s the other angle of the gigantic tree. Right above their bed. 

I leave.

I walk past Halcott’s house. He’s in his garage fidgeting with a generator.  He and his wife are okay. I tell him I’ll be right back. Need to check on the cousins' houses. 

William won’t answer his door. I beat on the door. Nothing. I go around back and a tree has fallen on his house, but it appears to have just messed up shingles. I go back to his door. I try the handle. It’s open.

“It’s Andre. Don’t shoot!”

I have to keep hollering because he’s hard of hearing. As I get near his bedroom, I hear him.

“I’m fine.”

“You have tree resting on the house, but all things considered, you’re okay. Vehicles are fine too. I have to get over to Reola and Camp David and see how they’re doing.”

“Okay.”

I leave his place and walk over to “Reola”, the house my great-great-grandfather built. Tree's down in the road. Snapped.




I walk the property. Miraculously, it’s fine.  Pfew.

I walk back to Halcott.

“Generator’s fine, but the battery for it is kaput.”

“Your RV is fine. The tarp got moved,  but other than that, it’s good.”

“If I can move the RV to a flatter spot, I can get its generator going.”

“Sure. Go ahead. But keep it on the gravel.”

“Can we do that now?”

“Give me a bit.  I need to get to my uncle’s house first.”

The rain is not heavy, but it just keeps coming. As I walk the third of a mile over to Camp David, it’s mostly branches down.  There's a top of a tree that snapped on my property and nearly crushed my mail box.




Walking down my street, a deer comes out of the woods and looks at me.



As I get closer to my Uncle's house., there are trees down on the road. One of uncle’s trees fell, taking out the power line and blocking  the road.



I get up to his house and walk around. There are trees down in the woods around his house, but none on the house or any blocking his driveways.

I call his daughter and in garbled transmission, try to let her know the house is fine. The call drops and I can’t get it to go through again. I text her that the house is fine.

As I walk back, cars are trying to get around the downed trees and power lines there to get out of town. I text mom, “You need to get packed, ASAP.”

I go back to Halcott and we go to get his RV moved to flat land. As we’re doing that, Teddy and Jennifer, friends who live up on a nearby hill come by with their dogs.  They had some flooding in their downstairs, but no tree damage. We talk about how bad things are. We had no idea the wind would be so strong up here, this far away from the coast.

“Only way out of town is down to Henderson and then around to Ozone. Charles is completely blocked. We had to duck through trees to get through that way.”

Mom comes out on the porch while we’re talking. 

“Are you packed?”

“It doesn’t seem so bad,” she says, looking at my yard.

“You haven’t seen it. It’s bad. Trees went through the neighbors' houses. Power lines are down everywhere.”

I don’t want to do this in front of  Teddy and Jennifer. We make our goodbyes. They leave.

“We have to get you out of here.”

“I don’t think that’s a good decision.”

“I don’t mean to be harsh, but you literally have no usefulness, whatsoever, here. You’re a 75yo woman.”

“I’m stronger than I look. Like someone in their fifties.”

I look at her.

“I can help!”

“How?”

“I can cook.”

“Cook? With what power?”

“Oh.”

“Right now there’s no power and limited food. No. You gotta go.”

“Well how do we know that I can?”

“Cell service has gone wonky. I’ll follow you to South Carolina and when I get a signal, I’ll confirm the path is clear.”

“I only have a quarter tank of gas.”

“We’ll get you to a gas station down there.”

“I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“You need to go. All this rain up here is going to flood the SC river systems and wash over the interstate like it did last month and we need to get you home before that happens.”

3pm

We walk down Charles street, through the downed trees, and get to the vehicles on main street.




Other than leaves plastered on them, they’re fine. We get up to the house and I get her loaded up. She follows me and we head out of town. As we get to the exit, we stop at the gas station. The power’s out and dozens of cars are there. I tell her to follow me and we’ll head to exit 1 in SC.   As we’re going down the mountain, I see NC DOT stopping westbound traffic to cut trees off the road. The westbound lanes are packed.  It’s going to take me a long time to get back up to Saluda.  As we get to the Landrum exit, all the gas station signs I can see from the interstate are not lit up. No power so no way to pump gas. I pull over on the edge of the exit ramp and walk back to mom.

“You’re going to have to keep driving until you see power.”

“I only have a quarter tank.”

“That should get you far enough to find power and gas. I have to head back up. I was able to get signal on the maps app and you’re clear to Charleston.”

“Okay. Well, other than this, I had a good time this trip. Love you.”

“Yeah. Sorry to be brusque, but you need  to get home. I’ll check in when I can. Love you.”

I get in the car to head back up; almost immediately, I’m stuck in the westbound jam. 



It takes me 45 minutes to get back to the Saluda exit, partially because signs are saying that everywhere past the Saluda exit is blocked off. I get back to town and park the car back on main road.

I see people congregating by the pub. I knock on the door and the owner lets me in. There’s a lantern.

“Want a beer?”

The CO2 system is working, but the beer’s warming. It’ll be ruined soon enough.

“I guess 'why not?'"

He pours me a beer. I go out back where the locals are huddled up. I see Teddy and Jennifer again. There’s talk of lake lure’s dam failing. People say the power might be out weeks. People on town water have water, but then the folks on wells have no water because their well pumps require electricity. I drink my beer. My phone rings. It’s a  different cousin. First time my phone has worked in hours. Explain that it’s a catastrophe. Call drops. I head up the hill to the house. I could clean up, but I’m exhausted. I crawl into the bed.

7pm. 

I get up and go to walk back to town. They’ve already cleared Charles street of the trees, if not the downed power lines. One of the downed trees off on the side of the road has water bubbling out near its roots, where it tore out the water line as it fell.

At the top of Charles street, my phone erupts with every notification it could possibly make. I’m startled. I don’t move an inch though. As I scroll through the texts of worried family and friends, I see that the texts I thought I’d sent much earlier, all just went out right then. That spurs another round of frantic texts from neighbors and cousins. I call who I can to explain what’s going on. 

Mom’s husband calls while I’m standing there. Tells me Mom made it to exit 38, but there wasn’t gas. They had power though.

“I’ll go get her.”

“She says no. She’s going to wait there until the next gas comes. They said they’ll let her stay there while she waits.”

“Okay.”

A woman who lives on Charles street walks up.

“I just got a signal RIGHT HERE,” I tell her.

“I’ve got Verizon but I haven’t been able to get any calls or texts out. I can only receive texts.”

“Yeah, me too. Until just now and right here.”

“Well, it’s too late to fool with it now.”

“Welcome to the 1800s.”

“I guess so.”

It’s nearly dark so I go back to the house. I find my candles and a lantern to put one in. I pull brats out of  the cooler and cook them on my grill. I eat in my living room. 

Later I read under the candle light. I get to bed early. The house is damp because the dehumidifiers are off, of course.

Saturday:

I decide there’s not much point in me being up there with no power. All I’m going to do is be an extra person straining emergency services. I pull my bar off the porch and tidy up some and pack. I have an electric water tank, so I guess, correctly, that there’s still hot water. I take a hot, dark shower.  I go to get my car. I spot folks I know and we chat. They mention that there was a prepper’s convention in town and the preppers staying at the AirBnBs and Inn are all panicked about the power being off. We laugh and laugh about that.  They also mention that someone had stolen a chainsaw and gas can out of a trunk yesterday.

“Yeah, I don’t want to sound paranoid, but I’m worried some of these people out driving around aren’t just lookie-loos. They might be scouting to loot.” They nod.

I get the car and as I’m driving to the house, I look at the other neighbor’s house, Ms. Thomas’. I didn’t check it yesterday. I hear a generator coming from her house. One of my trees fell across her driveway though. She’ll be fine, I tell myself. Then I say, no. Make sure. I park my car and walk to her house. I knock on the door.

“Ms. Thomas, do you have anyone looking after you?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I’m your neighbor, Andre Rembert…”

“Andre Rembert! We’re kin!”

“Yes, well, one of my trees is blocking your driveway.”

“It’s an awful mess.”

“I hear you have a generator, but I’ll get you cut out so you can leave.”

“Leave?”

“Yeah. Power’s going to be out for a long time. You know anywhere you can go?”

“I know people  in Charlotte,” she says hesitantly.

“I’d really recommend getting out and going to them.”

“Oh.”

“Well, let me get you cut out. I’ll be back.”

I go over to Halcott’s. We try to get his chainsaw working but it won’t start. Dangit. As we’re walking to my house, some off-duty fire fighters are walking around, assessing the damage. We mention needing to get Mrs. Thomas out. They tell us they can help us in thirty minutes or so. We nod.

 I get an axe from my house and Halcott gets a saw.  I start chopping on one end and he starts sawing the other.  Chopping wet wood is HARD. My pulse spikes and I’m worn out fairly easily. Still, it’s got to be done. 


I get 80% of the way through the damned thing and Halcott suggests wrapping a chain around it and pulling it free with his truck. Good idea.

Bad idea. Chain popped. But right about then, the fire fighters showed up and buzz buzz buzz made quick work of the thing and we got her driveway cleared, save for the downed, dead power line she’d have to drive over. 


I go back up to her house.

“I don’t think I’m going to go.”

“I don’t recommend that, but okay.”

“I haven’t been able to get in touch with my daughter.”

“I’m leaving to go to Charleston now. If you give me her number, I’ll call her once I get a signal and let her know you’re okay.”

“You’d do that?”

I nod.

“Oh, thank you.”

She hands me a scrawled note with her daughter’s name and number on it. She also gives me a loaf of pumpkin bread for being “her hero.” I demure but she insists. I carry the pumpkin bread to the fire fighters who are still at the end of the driveway.

“She wants y’all to have this for getting her driveway cleared.”

They happily accept it.

I take another only lukewarm-now, dark shower, pack up the car (including my weapons. Don’t want looters getting those).  

I have three quarters of a tank; more than enough to get to the lowcountry. I get to the interstate, point the car east, and away I go.







Sunday, September 24, 2023

234 Miles of I-26

Drive drive drive
Three lanes to two lanes 
the corridor of Pines 
Police has pulled one over
everyone over to the left 
drive drive drive 
brake lights all ahead 
jump off at the exit if you can. 
A 30-minute detour is always 
better than being parked for five. 
As you approach The Hot Place 
the road undulates. 
widen back to three 
malfunction junction 
Then the Chapin construction canal. 
White Knuckle for 20 miles. 
Next marker is the split off at Clinton. 
Not too much farther down 
on a clear day 
you can start to see the mountains. 
Pray you breeze through Spartanburg 
you're almost there 
last wee bit of South Carolina has cheap gas 
and then as you cross the border 
the cell phone coverage has gaps 
and your audiobook pauses. 
And then up up up 
past the lumbering big rigs on the right 
and you weave and up and down a bit 
and, boom!, off you go: the exit
and you roll the window down 
and you smell the mountain smell 
Sweet Air 
and up the Steep Chisholm Hill 
around the bend the tire thumps 
as it drops from asphalt to dirt and gravel 
down the driveway 
parked in Incline 
step out and breathe deeply 
and raise your hands 
over your head to stretch

Home

Thursday, March 23, 2023

A SMAWG (Southern Middle-Aged White Guy) Opines upon "All the Pretty Horses" Over 30 Years After Its Publication

 I bought a paperback compilation of Cormac McCarthy's Border Trilogy from The Killarney Bookshop in Killarney, County Kerry in 2002, when I was 22 or 23 and on a brief vacation there from my duty station of Bamberg, Germany. My finger hurt. I had (I thought) jammed the hell out of my ring finger catching a football during PT the morning before I flew. Turned out I had broken it and I took too long on vacation and when I got back to Bamberg, they couldn't fix it and now that finger is fused and, because of that, I'm technically a disabled veteran. So I have that going for me. 

I was deeply and passionately in love with film, with cinema, even, as a young man. I wrote a screenplay in college; filmed 70% of it during spring break. I wanted to make movies. But I knew that career, along with being a writer, is a statistical idiocy of a plan, so off I went being responsible. 

Hell with responsibility. Next life, if I can't be my first choice (independently wealthy), I'm going for poverty and writing or directing. 

My introduction to Cormac McCarthy as a sometimes sophisticated, but normally oblivious, college kid, was Billy Bob Thornton's 2000 adaptation of All the Pretty Horses. I'd not read a lick of McCarthy to that point. But I was getting a degree in Classical Studies and my father is an English Professor. So I viewed the film altogether differently than, apparently, the rest of the movie-going public, who collectively yawned as it quickly left theaters. 

A quick pause...if you're reading this and haven't read a 31-year-old novel nor seen the 23-year-old movie, I'm not going to give you a plot synopsis and I'm not going to spare you from spoilers. Don't be a dodo. Go away and watch the movie and/or read the book.

____________________________________________________________________

So, I loved that movie. It was clear it wasn't a scene by scene adaptation (which is virtually impossible) and so I couldn't be sure the book did what the movie did, but I will tell you my gigantic takeaway of the movie is that it ultimately was clearly about the soul making its journey to judgment after death. The movie repeatedly has characters talk about Heaven. "Not everyone thinks heaven is a ranch in west Texas" is an early line (or thereabouts) that sticks with me all these years later.  In the movie, there didn't seem to be a realistic world where John Grady Cole could have survived the stabbing he took, and so from that point forward seemed like his soul's journey to understand his death. 

He had to deal with the loss of those around him and they speak to him as though funerarily, and at the end of his long and trying journey back to west Texas (Heaven), an old judge with a great white beard listens to his confession and absolves him. Seemed pretty damned obvious to me. Also, anything with year 2000 Penelope Cruz is going to get my utter praise. What a woman.

_____________________________________________________________________

Around 2012, my college roommate, gargantuan bibliophile that he is, handed me a copy of Blood Meridian and I took a look at the first sentence and thought to myself, "This son of a bitch just intellectually challenged me." Blood Meridian is Biblical and hellish and sparse yet dense and it is less read than studied or concentrated upon. Within a year, I also read The Road, and what a completely different experience. Flew threw it. Not nearly so difficult. 

But that's the thing. Cormac McCarthy is an artist. Yes, he's a writer, but he's an artist first and foremost. An artisan is someone who creates for others to enjoy and, usually if they can do it, for money. An artisan can create something that is monumentally difficult, but that's not the separation between artist and artisan. Michelangelo couldn't do an airbrush painting on a t-shirt. Difficulty is not the mark of an artist.  

What is the mark of an artist? "MUST" is the mark of an artist. Because the art, whatever it is (painting, sculpture, play, manuscript, etc) must be. It simply must. "I must" is the refrain of the artist, not "I want". And the artist goes about releasing it.  Sometimes, the artist can create with intention; though it's my experience that the core comes out as it must and then an artist garnishes/molds/shapes it with flourishes of intention so that the final result is a blend of the core "must" and the artist's desire ("I want"). Failed art is when the "I want" overrides the must.

Michelangelo carved the David. You see it in person and it stands out because the head and hands and feet are too big. It gives the hero the feeling of a puppy that will one day be a ferocious attack dog. Young and not yet what he was to be, but what he must be at the time he needed to be. It's a gigantic thing. In fact, the piece of marble it was carved from had been called "Il gigante". And Michelangelo said David was always inside of Il Gigante, he just freed the statue from the encasing stone.  So an artist is a blend of intent and submission to a greater creative drive that is beyond the artist's control.

I took a terrible opportunity to look at some youtube reviews of All the Pretty Horses after I read it. Tried to read some written reviews. The reviewers are not artists. Most of them are unfortunate simpletons. For them, style and plot are the hallmarks of great writing. And, yes, they can be, of course, but they are not the end all/be all when it comes to a work of art. 

Michael Crichton plots are put together like a swiss watch. You've got your foreshadowing, your twists and turns, your clever double back to upend expectation. Hell of a writer. Before his death, Hollywood used to say he had half a billion dollars of ideas just floating along in his head. But I'm not altogether sure he was an artist. Which is fine. Bob Dylan's not a poet. Bob Dylan is a song-writer. He's great at that. Fantastic. Michael Crichton was a thriller writer and he was amazing at it. But he wasn't an artist.  Cormac McCarthy is not a thriller writer. He's an artist. And he's a Biblical artist, from what I've read so far.

And I say that because I heard one reviewer lament that McCarthy didn't have a set style. Of course he doesn't. He is hyper-talented and bends himself to the must of the work . And I heard/ read others who lamented that All the Pretty Horses has a very basic plot.  Good God, man. The plot is the foundation for the art. These people are used to a crayon set with a red, green, and blue, and can't see the full spectrum. 

So I'm not giving a review, because that's beside the point. Here are thoughts on the novel. Not theses. Thoughts. Do with them what you will. 

1. This book is about mirrors. For example

Names: John Grady Cole (JgC) is a Christ-like figure. Christ descended to Hell for three days; this book takes place over three seasons (starts in late spring, goes through summer, ends in fall just before winter)

 Alejandra is the Spanish version of Alexandra. Alex=defenderAndr--=man (think Android, a manlike robot). At any rate, she's a defender of mankind, like Christ was. She's a mirrored version of JGC.

Jimmy Blevins (John the Baptist): the boy has taken the name of an actual holy man, we discover. But he leads the way to death for JC.

Don Hector: not biblical, but in The Iliad, Hector has the epithet, "Breaker of Horses."  Except, he's not the actual Breaker of Horses, JGC is. See what good that Classical Studies degree did for me?

Lacey Rawlins: Lacey, his "pardner", is who JGC would be without his compassion and greatness. Lacey speaks with truth, and wisdom. He pretty much predicts the negative outcomes that will, and do, come to play out throughout the novel. JGC's compassion will not allow him to step away from situations, even if he "should." Lacey is JGC without the faults/negatives that JGC gets from his compassion, but also without the greatness. He can do things with horses, but he's no master. 

2. Speaking of this mirrored idea: Texas and Mexico are mirrored versions of each other. Texas is heaven for him; the mexican hacienda/estate is a paradise.  Also, JGC and Alejandra's families are amazingly similar, just JGC is farther along the time line. For people who don't know such things, if you read the book, the opulence and size of the mexican hacienda would leave you to think that JGC is a poor shmuck and Alejandra is nobility. Not so. The JGC ranch that he should have been heir to, had his mother not chosen to sell it, was 18000 acres. The hacienda is 11000 hectares. 11000 hectares is 27000 acres. Larger, yes, but not at any size that would be a real class divide. 

3.  Alejandra's mother, like JGC's mother wants nothing to do with the land. But the land is in Alejandra's father's family and in JGC's mother's family. If JGC's father were the inheritor of the ranch, JGC and Alejandra would be on equal footing, but JGC never would have been driven out to find her.

4.  JGC's family had the turmoil and death and success, but they stayed true to the land, until JGC's mother. Alfonsa's family may have gone down the same route had Alejandra's great aunt, Alfonsa, inherited the land instead of her brother. She was cosmopolitan and had those big ideas and was not tethered to the land, per se, though her injury resigned her to it, it appears.

5.  One of the reviewers, being very self-congratulatory and white, lamented how Alejandra was yet another cliche of the enigmatic latin lust object as white male authors write latin women. Alejandra has blue eyes, for one (not what one typically associates with "hispanic"); the great landowners were of Hidalgo stock and would have been racially and class horrified to be considered too much like the people; they would have considered themselves European before common Mexican. 

Regardless of that, the idiot reviewer didn't consider JGC from Alejandra's perspective. He's equally as enigmatic from her perspective. Here's a younger man, clearly of a different stock than the others, even his also-white friend; he didn't fawn. He didn't overly pursue. He was laconic. Compared to how others treated her, he must have been a bolt of lightning. 

6.  The book allows the reader to run with their own prejudices. JGC is a bumpkin from Texas. He's at a Mexican estate and he's out of his social element and shouldn't dare go beyond his station. Except he's not, as I've said. Alphonsa can tell there's something innate in him, but never discovers what he really is. But she tests him. She's been educated in the greatest schools in Europe. He beats her in the first game of chess. Of course, he gets that talent from his father; not the one with the American landowning heritage, so that's a bit of a dig at the pretentiousness of chess. Still, she's been playing for four to five times longer than he's been alive and he beat her. And because of her arrogance, she never thought to discover who he really was. She takes clear pride in her education; she insists on speaking English to show how intelligent she is, but she takes no note that he speaks fluent spanish and he's a master with horses and he is fluent in compassion above all. His compassion is the source of his humility and his mastery.

7.  He can win (and usually does) when allowed to compete. He is defeated when he is not given an opportunity. Don Hector chooses pool for their competition and beats JGC  without the boy having a turn (if memory serves). Alfonsa's last game is her diatribe telling him it's over with Alejandra. He laments that she won't let him speak. If she had, if she had listened, she might have been won over.  Alejandra won't really let him have a chance. She goes to him at the end; they have their Indian Summer, as it were, but she will not entertain being with him. She doesn't know what kind of man he is, she says. Sweetheart, you probably ditched the best man you'll ever know. That said, I do believe THAT would have been hard for JGC to express because of his humility. 

8.  The locomotive in the beginning of the novel bores out of the east, emitting light that mars and disrupts. The novel ends with JGC on horse going into the reddening west.  Instead of emitting, he accepts light that matches him to the rest of nature; the proof he is there is his shadow. Anna Karenina ends with the train of modernity destroying the old ways. All the Pretty Horses starts with that train and ends with the main character embracing the old ways despite modernity.  Also, the alternate title for Blood Meridian is "The Evening Redness in the West" and JGC rides past unconcerned indians on his way to that redness. Not sure what any of that means, but it's a nice throughline on the location.

9.  JGC is his grandfather reborn, which is why it starts at grandfather's death.  There should have been a chain of grandfather to father to JGC, but the father was not the direct link.

10.  Don Hector and the brother of the blevins-slain man (the charro) are cowards, unable to act despite their desire. Don Hector was a supreme coward in his failure to confront jgc on any level that is fair. Jgc confronts all equally, on their ground (even the horses) the whole book. His refusal to kill the captain was a mercy and not a cowardice and the potential burden of having to be responsible for the captain's death was something the land relieved him from. JGC will not act with aggression until he is forced to do so.

11. Dude, it's different in the book, but he gets absolution from an old judge. C'mon. 

12.  JGC has three significant deaths occur for him (even beyond Blevins and the assassin): his grandfather, his father, and the grandmother (abuela).  She was not his blood, but by everything you unpack throughout the novel, she was more involved in his life than his blood parents were. He waited to leave until after his Grandfather's funeral at the start of the novel and waited to head into the redness until after Abuela's funeral after the end.

__________________________________________________________________

If the plot and run-on sentences are what you're taking away from All the Pretty Horses, go enjoy your airbrushed t-shirt.





Thursday, June 30, 2022

Lara Kennedy Lawson May 11, 1982- June 25, 2022

Brilliance, mischief, mayhem, and fun. The older I get, the more I believe that there are people you simply like and then you fill in the reasons after the fact.  You don't need a reason. You like them. That's enough.

When we first met, Kennedy and I could not be more different, excepting for the fact that we both are loud. 

She: Blonde-haired, blue-eyed, liberal, atheist, small.

Me: None of those things.

And yet, I came to absolutely adore her. And she me. We played extremely well together. Minds dancing and sparring in equal measure. Our great commonality our sheer ludicrousness and ferocity. 

Aside from that, we deeply trusted and confided in one another. We loved each other, sans romance, which irritates me to qualify, as if it were a lesser form, but, for those who didn't know us, I wish to stanch lascivious assumption. 

A decade ago, there was a break. Though not a vicious or malicious one. Things could not be as they had been. We reached out to each other casually in these intervening years but never returning to the depth that we had been before. Despite the distance, I thought of her fondly and wrongly assumed there would be a time for more. 

I remain. She does not.

I love you, Kennedy.





Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Cooking and the Perpetual Bachelor

I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty of it, but I don't cook. I just don't see the point in wasting that much time. Why, when I can make a terrible turkey sandwich in 32 seconds and pop a multivitamin?

But I'm trapped at my place during this COVID-19 nonsense, and I have a kitchen, so sure. Why not?

I wanted Indian food. It's not a terrible turkey sandwich, but I like it fine. I'll make it.

The point of this is not whether I ended up making it. Spoiler alert: I made it. It was fine. Nothing to talk about there.

However, I have some thoughts on the experience of making it.

1.  WHY DO SPICES COST SO MUCH! 

What in the living hell is Cardamom and why does a thimble-full of it cost the GDP of a sub-saharan banana republic?  Da Gama sailed around the Cape of Good Hope to find a way to get spices cheaper. Columbus accidentally found a new world on his journey to find a way to get spices cheaper. Indian food is eaten by, um, Indians, who on a per-capita basis are some of the poorest people on earth, and yet just the spices to make a dish that's a part of every cheap Indian restaurant buffet on six continents requires that I take out a home-refi loan. I have a job, a good one, so I buy the damn spices, but I'll be eating this damned Chicken Tikka Masala until at least the autumnal equinox just to make sure I get my money's worth. If I ever get extra money again, I'm investing in spices. This is ludicrous.

2.  Knifework

If someone breaks into my house or an animal comes at me in the woods, I know what to do with a knife. Pointy end goes into problem. Repeat until no more problem. Easy peasy.  But finely chop onions or mince fresh garlic and ginger? Oh my dear God. I feel like I'm eight and back learning how to painstakingly write in cursive. How am I this slow at this?

3. Timing

I've tried to cook before. In my twenties. That also went fine. But I knew that I was bad at timing. I recall that I'd end up eating whatever I cooked in stages. As in, oh crap, I finished the protein but haven't started the vegetables, so I guess I'll eat the pork chop as I make the squash casserole. Piecemeal eating would take hours. Now that I think of it, I bet that's where the word "piecemeal" came from in the first place.  Part of me picking Chicken Tikka Masala is because it's effectively one dish. But I hadn't counted on how slow I am with that damned knife. I allotted an hour for prep time. It took closer to two. And then I was so focused on the chicken and sauce that I forgot to start the rice steamer. So I ended up eating three hours later than I intended.

4. Portions

This recipe says it feeds 3-5 people. Bullshit.  Just this batch will last me two weeks if I eat five meals of it a day. I barely have enough tupperware to freeze the gallons this damned recipe created.  But now I have iceberg-sized ice-blocks of Tikka Masala taking up my freezer. And, let's not forget that I have two billion dollars in spices left on my shelf to use up.

5. Smell

I love Indian food. Really. I do. And I like going to Indian restaurants. But I've never walked out of an Indian restaurant wondering if I'd ever smell anything but cumin and coriander and turmeric ever again. It's the next day and the smell from the clothes I was wearing as I was cooking last night has permeated through the laundry basket and swallowed my bedroom. My hair smells like spices. My blanket smells like spices. My kitchen, of course, smells like spices. I can only imagine that as I heat up the next 136 days of this meal, this smell will continue.


Sometime in September, I'm going back to terrible turkey sandwiches and multivitamins.



Monday, April 22, 2019

Arya and Gendry: Real Talk

Arya (creepy stare): You make that weapon I designed yet?

Blacksmith (apprentice): Yes.

Arya (creepy question): How many women you you knock dem boots with?

Blacksmith Apprentice (remembering she's phenomenal with weapons and he just handed her a huge one): Gee, how does one remember such things?

Arya (mega creepy): you know...tell me

Blacksmith Apprentice (calculating the number that will not get his throat slit if he says the wrong one): Three? Yeah. Three. I have all of my (straight) teeth in medieval times. I'm not covered in rickets and rampant malnutrition. I have a job and I grew up and live in Whore Central.  I'm played by an attractive person who waxes his chest, so definitely...three.

Arya: Great. I've thought you could get it since I met you.

Blacksmith Apprentice: Since back when you could successfully pass as a boy and were still processing watching your pop's head get cut off?

Arya: I kill people all the time; have I mentioned that again in the past 30 seconds?

Blacksmith Apprentice: Um, I too have always wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you when you were just a crossdressing preteen riddled with PTSD.

Arya: So,  I kill people all the time; have I mentioned that? But I ain't been 'bout that sex yet, and we gon' die so I wanna know what it feels like.

Blacksmith Apprentice (quickly, under his breath):  It's probably going to feel like VD transmission and unplanned pregnancy.

Arya: What was that?

Blacksmith Apprentice: I said that I would love to enact the sex at the psycho munchkin rich girl, who I'm easily four points ahead of on a ten point scale, in a foundry where I've been wearing leather pants (and no underwear) next to a blazing forge. We have zero chemistry, but, you know, I'm into that.

Arya:  Check this out. Not only am I super pale, I'm covered in grisly, massive, purple scars.

Blacksmith Apprentice:  Thank God. There's no way I could perform if you were not.

Arya:  Have I mentioned that I cut people's faces off and wear them?

Blacksmith Apprentice:  Your words are like verbal viagra. Truly.

Arya:  And remember, we can't make this last forever because we have an army of undead descending on us to cut us into little pieces and the pieces that aren't cut up will reanimate to go kill other people, so you're gonna need to be quick about it.

Blacksmith Apprentice: So you want me to speed through pseudo forcible sex at an awkward virgin on itchy-ass hay?

Arya: Yes. That.

Blacksmith Apprentice: I'd love to make this last hours, but I'll figure out how to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Arya: Also, we gotta do this sober

Blacksmith Apprentice: FFS. FML.

Arya: What was that?

Blacksmith Apprentice: YOLO?

Thursday, November 8, 2018

The Observer Effect (originally published in The Charleston Mercury; July 2018)

The observer effect

By Ajax Carpenter


Come one, come all! Come on down, y’all!

Welcome to the Holy City™.

We have restaurants and ghost tours. How about one of those carriage rides; you want one? Oh, and don’t you worry; we have bars galore.

We’ve got everything this famous town is known for. Of course, there are the palmetto trees, sweetgrass basket-weavers, museums, and churches. 

Welcome to this sleepy little place, off in a crook of this vast expanse of a country, down where time doesn’t pass. Look at Rainbow Row! Look at the Calhoun Mansion! Ain’t everything grand?! Ain’t everything just so historic!?!

Thank God for the Board of Architectural Review, the mayor and Charleston City Council, who, lo these many years, have protected our skyline and the character of the city. Thank God monstrous hotels and condos and the ever present cranes aren’t blighting our postcards and pictures and just general quality of life. Just focus down low, down where the restrictions on doing any work on any building whatsoever make it so cost-prohibitive that all but the ludicrously wealthy got fed up long ago and said “It might be nice to live out on John’s Island; maybe Wadmalaw, even.”

Don’t mind the three-hundred-dollars-per-thirty-seconds* parking meters that are monitored twenty-five-hours-a-day*, or the potholes, flooding and legendarily bad drivers. Bring your car. Join the fray. Come to get away from it all, but, if you get homesick for back where you’re from, where it’s not so sleepy and time moves so fast, jump in your car and get that slice of Up North or From Off. We have all the traffic you can handle.

If that doesn’t remind you of home, just wait; you’re gonna love the prices. We’re trying to get them up to Manhattan levels for you. It embarrasses us that you’re not able to pay $17* for a bland margarita.

Do you like our districts? We learned a thing or two from the Florida theme parks. Disney’s Magic Kingdom has TomorrowLand, AdventureLand and Main Street USA; we have South of Broad, the French Quarter, and Wraggborough. Think of the horse-drawn carriages like they’re our monorail.

Spill off the sidewalks. Walk in the streets.  The cars aren’t really supposed to be there any way. They’ll stop. They’ll wait.

Ask the questions. You know you want to. All of y’all do. Titter as you say aloud: What’s a Huguenot? (Ha!) What is a grit? (Hilarious!)

We want you! You’re hardy folk. Way back when we only had 847 million visitors a year* (instead of the current annual count of 74 Trillion*), they’d peter out and leave us be for the real hot of summer. But not you! 143 °* and 138%* humidity for July and August, and still y’all pour in here. Charleston can count on death, taxes, roaches the size of compact cars and this relentless parade of “treasured guests.” If you're sweltering, might I suggest a refreshing bland margarita?

Rarer than a ghost, you might just see a local. They’ll be one of the slightly befuddled older folks (always older; ever older), polite if you ask them a question, helpful, of course; but often with a consternated look as though they’re still trying to figure out what happened.

Downtown used to be full of locals. Children played in the streets. The houses had lights on at night because folks actually lived in them (they weren’t just trophy vacation homes back then). They worked and shopped there and played bridge and had book clubs and threw cocktail parties and actually attended all these churches.

Look at all the contractors. There are more of those than locals. That’s for sure.

But enough about them. That’s not why you’re here. You’re here for the nightlife and the beaches. Get a sunburn and then get to Upper King. Mill about. Spend your money. We’d prefer it if you wouldn’t drink and drive, or shout and fight, but you be you.

Try not to notice the homeless folk that have materialized in the past couple of years, sitting heads down, arms outstretched. But, if you do, don’t they add a little extra flavor?

That guy complaining that everything has changed? Don't mind him. He’s not a local even though he insists he is. That's Gary. He moved here from Dayton three years ago. Don't know which of the guys complaining is Gary? Don't worry. They're all Gary.

Sure, this place isn't what it used to be. It’s not a place very many real people live anymore. Any old place can be that. It’s better! It’s CharlestonWORLD:  the Premier Adult Museum, Shopping and Restaurant Park.

Don’t you like this?! Isn’t it enchanting?! Spend and enjoy! Tell your friends and family! Bring them! Bring them ALL!

Why leave? You never have to leave. We can just make more Charleston, expand it up and out. Absorb the other townships and islands. Stack and build. Stack and build.

Come and see.

Come and see.

Come and see.

Come and see!

*Numbers are estimates, only, but you never can tell when satire will morph into reality.