Nuremberg Pink Moon

Rainy day in a land chock full of them.
Off of the train, solo, for a wander,
Altstadt mixed mit neustadt due to the bombs.
Into a store, up the escalator.

Through the bins, found what I was looking for!
Underneath my felt hat, over my ears
Go headphones, sharing the Suicide's songs:
I saw it listen and I saw it say...

Stranger in a strange land amongst the ruins
Ostensibly deaf, mute, illiterate.
Oddly at peace, comfortable, self-possessed,
An ocean away from everyone else

Swathed in mournful beauty and constant mist,
I make my way across the cobblestones.
I need only know what's inside my head:
beauty and truth and self-contentedness.

Insomnia

The face-skin drapes poorly
The glue's done come unstuck
Haggard Purple blotches
Signify brain chaos
As all the wiring shifts
As effect precedes cause
And lightning jabbering
lotus tranquility
Fury righteous opaque
Retreating innocence
Tear apart savagery
Animalic hunting
Leave me be leave me be
So far away so near
All at once how bout that
Outside catatonia
Inside Perskrammer jaunnt!
Language can bite my ass
I'll bite! And tear! And shred!
Holy sleep I dread you
Can't catch you anyway
Who needs you you bastard
I already said that?
I already said that.
I already said that?
Who what when where why how
Be am is are was were
Been being no matter
Mommy used to carry
Me in her arms asleep
From the car to my bed
And I wouldn't know it
Dammit brain shut off now
Please please please whatever
Guess I'll sleep when I die
Sore. Decay! Glory Blaze!

MLB Opening Day: 2013 Guesses

Predictions typically are guesses people won't admit to only guessing about. These are guesses.

AL East:
1.  Rays (92 wins)- They know how to win with lower talent.
2.  Blue Jays (90 wins)- Hard to improve over 20 games in a year, regardless of makeover. New manager will make or break their playoff shot.
3. Orioles (86 wins)- biggest swing team. Buck Showalter could coax a 94 win, 1st place finish, or their actual talent could hold them to 77 wins and 4th place.
4. Red Sox (82 wins)- Bounce back seasons by stars (Ellsbury, Pedroia, Lester, Bucholz) will make them respectable. Always a chance they make a charge now they're free of Bobby V and have Farrell in as manager.
5. Yankees (77 wins)- Old and broken. Also, &*$! the Yankees on principle

AL Central
1. Tigers (94 wins)- Austin Jackson will make a leap
2. Royals (84 wins)- Over .500 is like the playoffs for them. But it's still not the playoffs.
3. White Sox (82 wins)- Father Time murders Konerko and the offense dives.
4. Indians (81 wins)- Bauer impresses. Francona makes them respectable.
5. Twins (72 wins)- A dumpster fire. Mauer improves power this year. Cracks 20+ if healthy.

AL West
1. Angels (89 wins)- Offense mauls everyone. Pujols goes back to being The Machine and captures the MVP.
2. Rangers (84 wins)- Meh. They are just Meh. Yu Darvish goes top-3 in Cy Young
3. Mariners (84 wins)- They are due to not be the worst offense in decades for once this decade. Totally guess. No justification.
4. As (77 wins)- Chinua Achebe died the other day. Things Fall Apart. A team of nobodies plus Cespedes goes back to reality. 77 wins is charitable.
5. Astros (59 wins)- Dumpster fire without Mauer.

NL East
1. Braves (99 wins)- The potential of seven positions is All-Star level (LF, CF, RF, SS, 2B, 1B, C). Three of those, Justin Upton, Jason Heyward, and Freddie Freeman, have MVP ability if they hit their max. Bullpen is phenomenal if Freddie Gonzalez doesn't amputate them. Starters are above average and they are deep to absorb injuries. My reach pick.
2. Nationals (98 wins)- More steady than the Braves lineup, but Harper is the only one with MVP potential. He has an impressive second year. Pitching makes this team.
3. Phillies (88 wins)- This is their peak potential as a team. They reach it trying to make the WC. Lee and Hamels push each other towards 20 wins each. Halladay figures out a way to get 15 wins.
4. Mets (76 wins)- Ew and boring. Ike Davis goes for nearly 40HR though.
5. Marlins (60 wins)- Dumpster fire. With Giancarlo Stanton. He hits 45+HR and severely injures a 3B or pitcher with a line drive

NL Central
1. Reds (93 wins)- Offense mashes but pitching staff gets lit up at Great American Ballpark. Joey Votto shoots for a .350 BA and 1.100 OPS.
2. Pirates (85 wins)- God forgives Pittsburgh and lets them break .500
3. Cardinals (81 wins)- Injuries take their toll.
4. Cubs (79 wins)- Their pitching is surprisingly good.
5. Brewers (76 wins)- Mediocrity, thy name is Milwaukee.

NL West
1. Dodgers (92 wins)- $200+ million payroll absorbs injuries well enough to win the division, albeit unimpressively.
2. Diamondbacks (86 wins)- Who cares? A boring team scared into 2nd place by fire-breathing Kirk Gibson.
3. Giants (82 wins)- That lineup is too shoddy to catch lightning two years in a row.
4. Padres (72 wins)- San Diego is a beautiful city at least.
5. Rockies (72 wins)- Batting Practice in Denver will be fun at least.

AL MVP- Pujols, Angels
AL Cy Young- Verlander, Tigers
AL Rookie- Jackie Bradley Jr. (Go Cocks!)*

NL MVP- Votto, Reds
NL Cy Young- Kershaw, Dodgers
NL Rookie- Tavares, Cardinals*

*Who the hell knows with rookies? Way too unpredictable.  Myers (TB) could be an MVP candidate or a replacement-level dud.

Your Social Advocacy Is Probably Misguided

Subtle, yet HUGE, difference between illegal and not-legally-recognized.

In South Carolina, interracial marriages were illegal. Two people of different races married, they went to prison. Actually, probably just the black one.

In South Carolina, gay marriage is banned/not legally recognized. Two men or two women find a social institution to marry them, fine. They're married in their eyes and that institution's eyes. They do not get arrested and imprisoned for holding themselves out as married.

What they don't get is tax breaks for being married or access to family court in the event of disollution/divorce. South Carolina does not interfere/nullify with private contracts entered into by same sex partners.

In SC (and federally), people are raising hell, not about marriage or the right to marry, but fundamentally economic/tax/too-lazy-to-write-a-proper-will issues. If you want to put = signs up in solidarity of that or scream bloody murder about God's wrath on the gays, great, just know what the heck you're advocating for or against.

Your gay son/daughter/uncle/aunt/sister/brother/friend/self can go get married right now if someone will officiate the ceremony.

If you're in another jurisdiction and gay marriage is illegal, they by all means continue railing for/against what you've been *thinking* you're railing for/against.

(As it is always possible I have details incorrect, inadvertently, please comment and if valid, I will update)

Asking for Rejection

To Whom It May Concern,

I mailed in a fiction submission in December (~Dec 7, 2022) titled "Homecoming." As per the instructions on your webpage, I'm now contacting after 3 months to ascertain its status.

While I can only assume The Paris Review hasn't contacted me yet because you're still fundraising in order to give me All The Money and erect a Colossus in honor of my literary majesty, I am emailing on the miniscule, unfathomable happenstance that an un-agented amateur may somehow not have been up to snuff for such a prestigious publication (Infandum!).

If that were the case, a form rejection will provide a modicum of closure, though, of course, any notes or feedback would be appreciated to a degree far beyond rational measure.

May your day be lovely.

Inquisitively,

Captain Ajax Carpenter, Esquire
Charleston, SC

My/Your/Their Happiness

I've wind in my sails
the lapping of waves in my ears
sunshine on my face and chest
the emanating warmth of liquor 
spreading forth gutward out
Alone here in my tiny boat
Content
At peace

And you in your hulking marvel
standing on the topmost deck
arm around your loved one
amongst the teeming giddy crowd
you look out at the world beyond
and know the moment is for you

Behind your miracle of engineering
a flock of seagulls dip and dart and dive and soar
a veritable cloud so thick are they in their bedlam
praising whatever deity they can possibly conceive
for the feast that's been presented to them
though if they had sense they'd worship
your ship's turbine-powered props
dicing up fleets of fish sucked in 
their mechanical maws

Happiness abounds distinctly.

A Lion or a Rat

While walking in the wilderness,
I see you and acknowledge you.
Here, we are rare, wondrous beings.
I grant you respect and wide berth
As you follow suit towards me.
When I see you, I see myself:
Recognition of existence.
To survive out here, one must strive,
Overcome beasts and chance. Contend!
That we have met eyes proves our worth.
To move along or interact
Shall be each of our decision
And either way has its merits.
Choice ever trumps obligation.

In the city, I don't see you.
A blur of featureless faces,
Mere masks, I make no eye contact.
Head down, I jostle for my space.
I am aggrieved when I must speak,
For that must mean I can't bypass;
There is no way to get around,
And now amongst the teeming throng,
I am diminished by talking,
Which only proves my impotence.
I neither know you nor want to.
You have no value in my eyes,
Which I determine only if
There's something you can do for me.
Worth here is not tied to being,
But by how many owe you what.