The Conversation

He hadn't been out with that group in a number of months.  She was on the opposite side of the long table, at the other end.  Everyone was talking and it was loud, so when he made eye contact with her, he nodded, half-smiled (nearly a smirk), and lifted his hand in a half-hearted wave.  She did much the same.  It wasn't til the end of the evening, when everyone had gotten up and was saying their goodbyes that she came over to him.  Nobody else paid any attention to them.

She (S): Where've you been? 

He (H): You know how life gets, just been busy.

S: Really? I was starting to think you've been avoiding me.

H: Um...I mean, not to make things awkward, but kinda.

Crazy Woman

I am taking my chunky butt to the gym (first time in my life I've joined one) because I got FAT this fall. 

 

Picture the moment: 

 

I'm groggy. I'm walking from my warm car, through a bitter, biting wind in 39 degree darkness with a hint of damp, to what I consider to be a glorified self-torture chamber.  My bed-head hair is all over the place because it's 5:30am and whothehellcaresorisgonnanotice. 

 

And as I get near the door, a blonde woman bursts outside and accosts me.  I don't know what's happening. I nearly reach for my wallet, thinking I'm being mugged.  The mental fog clears and I realize it's my cousin's wife, Laura.  She's perky and PUMPED about being at the gym.  We walk in together as I mumble responses to her enthusiasm.  She teases me for working out in dress shoes. Then she runs off back to the treadmill.  Dammit. I left my gym shoes in the car.  I trudge back out.

 

Thirty minutes later, I'm huffing and puffing, attempting a meager, nay pathetic, amount of sit-ups.  I open my eyes and Laura's standing over me. PUMPED.  "COME TO SPIN CLASS!!!!! C'MON!" No way, I explain.  "C'MON!!!" Uh-uh.  "YOU'RE COMING TO ONE NEXT TIME. YOU CAN BE IN THE BACK AND DO YOUR OWN THING!" The best I can give her is a blank stare. No one, let alone a mother of infants, should be this excited before 6am.   She runs off to spin class. I resolve to be a gym ninja, unseen and in the shadows, from that point forward.  

 

You will not motivate me, woman! You hear me! You will NOT!