Andre gets bored and you get this...

For those of y'all that may not have grasped just how sad (and cushy) my life is, I just thought that I'd share a little interchange between myself and one of the sergeants here, but first I want to set the stage.

It being the Fall here doesn't represent the fact that I'm four and a half months from getting out of here or that Ramadan has started (two days ago). No, to me, that means two things and two things only: football season (pro and college) and playoff baseball. Those are the two things that give me the will to drag myself every night over to the TOC and sit for twelve hours (Can you imagine being put on a twelve hour "time out" as a child? I know what I'm gonna do to Andre Jr.); however tonight, a Saturday night and thus a college football and two games of playoff baseball night, the commo sergeant tried to hijack the TV and put on Nascar, of all things

Me: "What do you think you're doing?"

Commo Sergeant (CS): "I'm watching the race, sir."

Me: "Oh hell no! You gotta be crazy!" (I change the channel to the baseball game)

CS: That's messed up, sir; using your rank like that.

Me: Who wants to watch a bunch of guys go round and round for three hours? The only cool parts are the wrecks.

CS: Baseball's just watching the ball go around.

Me (ignoring him; to someone else): The Japanese dude just hit a homer!

CS: 'Japanese dude'? There's an EO (equal opportunity; our version of thought police) complaint.

Me: Oh, the guy that wants to watch a bunch of southern white guys take left turns is saying I'm rascist for watching a baseball game that has Blacks, Hispanics, and Orientals...

CS: So now you're saying it's about race?

Me: Hey, don't look at me. You're the one that keeps going on and on, complaining because you're not getting to see "THE" race. Way to go...bigot. Can you make it any more obvious than that, Hitler?

The commo sergeant got flustered and left. I got to watch my baseball game in peace. Life is good.

Yet Another Stupid Andre Story from Iraq...

Tonight I had a rather odd experience. We have turned back the clocks here before y'all in the States and so, when I am on my way to work it is already dark. As I was walking along talking or singing to myself (either way I'm sure it would be frightening to witness), I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of what I thought to be the the flash of mortars being fired at us on the horizon. I immediately looked for the nearest place to take cover when I saw another flash off in the distance in a different location. I considered hitting the dirt right there as the bombardment should strike any minute, when I saw yet another flash and it finally dawned on me: there was a rainstorm brewing. Seeing as it has been five months since since we last had any rain, it hadn't occurred to me that there had actually been clouds in the sky lately.

I muttered to myself, "What am I, four years old and scared of thunder and lightning again?" When the next lightning flashed I was able to answer myself with an unqualified "Yes!" and I scurried on to get to work. Yippee! I don't have to wait. I get to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder while I'm still in Iraq.