Pursuit of Happyness

One of the karmically (sp?) worst movies of all time would have to be the 2006 wrist-slitter "Pursuit of Happyness" starring Will Smith. It's not that the acting, directing and production weren't all first-rate, it was just that it was so appallingly dismal. There's nothing like a good miserable experience for catharsis, but it has be be grandiose. There was nothing grandiose about "Pursuit of Happyness." My summary, which I gave my friend over the telephone having just walked out of the theater is stunning (if I do say so myself) in it's accuracy and succintness: "Life takes a dump on the guy for two hours...then he gets a job." He didn't win the lottery; he didn't find true love; he didn't save the day. He got to work in a cubicle for 60+ hours a week.

I've been trudging about Anchorage for eleven days, trying to find a job. It's been one of the most infuriating, humbling, and ridiculous exercises I've ever had to endure. In the summer, downtown Anchorage is awash in tourist money and I've been told that being a bartender or waiter is the best way to rake in money. I went to the class to get my certification to serve alcohol and then started making my rounds, as it were, across the city, putting in applications at every bar and restaurant I could find.

I like to consider myself an educated man. I have a bachelor's degree. I read more than my fair share. I'm two years down in Law School. I consider myself somewhat sharper than your average bear.

I like to consider myself a somewhat professional man. Yes, I do throw off an air of cavalier insousiance, but when I put my mind to something I tend to get things done. Without pumping myself up too much I'll merely say that in my veiled past I knew a thing or two about managing personnel, equipment, and supplies in "difficult" situations.

And yet...and yet...I was consistently being turned down for not having experience in the food and beverage industry. "We only hire people with experience." "You gotta have experience." "Most of our people have at least five years experience." On and on, it went. I wanted to scream, "I can probably run the $#$!@#$@ restaurant, let alone hand people food and drinks! Where I come from the requirements for serving are a pulse and a substance abuse problem!" (Now is the time for you to think: "Well, Andre, why haven't you been a waiter yet?" I hate you all.) Suffice it to say, I kept quiet and took my lumps.

Finally, a manager confided in me, "there's lots of money to be made up here so we look for people with experience....but let's be honest...it's not rocket science."

I start tomorrow.

A job!

Oh Joy!?