Alexandria

I’d met the rest of the tour group the evening before. We’re a mix of Americans, Aussies, and Canucks. Our guide is an attractive Coptic Christian, Magdolin.

Early in the morning, we pile into the tour bus and head for Alexandria. All my reading for this particular trip has been for ancient Egypt, which ended with the conquest of Alexander the Great. Thus, I haven’t studied this city that he’d founded…because the 2300 year old city is too *new.* My knowledge of the city is what I recall from having studied the Greek and Roman worlds. Still, I felt slightly out of my element and unsure since I hadn’t brushed up.

Magdolin starts the tour. Then, every piece of applicable trivia I’ve ever read erupts from my subconscious and out of my mouth. I am Ajax: Trivia Master, Bane of Tour Guides!

We descend into Roman catacombs; we climb the ruins of the Serapeum. I establish my reputation within the tour group as the slightly crazed, bizarrely bearded, Hawaiian-shirt-wearing hippie who won’t shut up. All is going as I planned.

After the Serapeum and lunch at a fantastic seafood restaurant overlooking the harbor, we headed to the “Library of Alexandria.” A total gip, in my humble opinion. The Great Library of Alexandria is the most famous library in the history of the world. Unfortunately for civilization it burned down at some point, when isn’t certain. The librarian who took us on the tour of the current library tells of a couple of the possible times it burnt down by pagans and Christians, but fails to mention the mostly widely known legend.

When Alexandria was taken by the Muslims in the 600s, the Caliph, when asked by his subordinates what he wanted done with the hundreds of thousands of scrolls (no books back then) in the library, is said to have responded, “If they are not in accordance with the Koran, we do not need them. Burn them. If they are in accordance with the Koran, we do not need them. Burn them.” Supposedly it took 6 months to burn through the knowledge of the ancient world. Nope, the librarian didn’t mention that one.

At any rate, by any accounting, the Great Library hasn’t existed in at least around 1400 years. Therefore we went on a tour of what may as well have been the Library of Cincinnati or Dayton. It was a nice enough library, but I had little to no interest looking at a modern library when I’d traveled to Egypt to see OLD STUFF.

Magdolin apologizes for it on the bus when she lets a vendor step on to see if he can persuade us to buy his trinkets, but part of the trip is that we must participate with the various merchants. Thus I’m fairly certain we went to the library was to shop, particularly since the tour of the library ended, conveniently, at the bookshop.

We arrive at the hotel early in the afternoon. I pour myself scotch. I must keep pace and I’m already regretting buying so many bottles. Nonetheless, I soldier on.

After dark, we venture out of the hotel for food. “We” are my friend David and an American defense contractor, Ryan. David works in the IT department at Scana, as does one of my closest friends, Lee. David lives in my 1st cousins’grandmothers’ (Skista) former home. I am friends with David through my brother, whom he went to high school with in Conway. South Carolina is small. My life needs charts and diagrams at times.

As we walk along the waterfront, I note the condition of the buildings. Alexandria, once the greatest city in the (non-oriental) world. The buildings along the waterfront exude decay and dust. Few have lights shining within. Laundry dangles out of the windows. I struggle to think of what metropolis in the west could be as pitiful. Is there a waterfront apartment in Miami, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Diego, London, or Paris where the linens dry in the dusty breeze?

As we walk on, I note the packs of young men roving the sidewalks after dark. Good Muslim women are not out after dark. Though there is no alcohol in them, the local discos are open til 6am. My mind recoils in horror, trying to figure out what a chaste, sober disco is like at 5:30am.