1. Look. Seriously. Don't tell me to turn off my iPod because you're afraid it will shut off the multi-million dollar plane's electronics and send us into a nosedive of death. If my (basically) hard drive with headphones jammed in it that has no broadcast ability is enough to kill us all, then maybe the @$%!ing plane shouldn't have cleared whatever inspections it had to. The FAA is worthless. That's what I say.
2. I love that I have about 200 movies on hand during a flight. Really, I do. I love that with the touch of a screen, I can access that. What I don't love is that when I finally somehow manage to pass out in my tiny little chair and my head bangs forward (which I don't notice because I'm delirious from exhaustion) that I somehow hit the screen and have a flight attendant asking me what I needed because I hit the call button. There needs to be a 6'2" variable turn off on the touch screen. That's all I'm saying.
3. Yes. I have gargantuan feet. I appreciate that the chairs are now supersized for fat ass Americans. That's nice. I was in a row with two big burly lumberjack dudes. Somehow, our torsos fit in the row. However, our huge legs/feet did not and I spent most of the flight accidentally tripping any and everyone who walked near me, usually while I was simultaneously (accidentally) headbutting the touch screen and calling a stewardess.
4. What in the hell is with porno mags in the Atlanta airport? "Welcome to America! We objectify Women!" "America! Tits! And Spread Vagina!" "America! (Attention) Whores!" Seriously? I've just gotten off a 16 hour flight and transferred to another flight. It's not like I just have to see a birth canal or five. And, hey, I get that not all travelers are transfers, but what the hell is wrong with the guy who showed up at the airport just to buy a porn mag before he got on a flight. I just can't imagine any scenario where that's a legitimate purchase.
11 comments:
Umm...I agree with you that there is no acceptable reason to buy a porn mag on a layover or as a last minute check-in item. That said, I've flown through ATL a million times and have never noticed an abundance (if any at all) of porn being sold there. I believe this rant, and your obviously highly sensitive porn-dar, is a reflection of the condition of your own SANITAS, mister. What did they do to you over there?
I'm observant. I particularly notice things I'm not supposed to notice. So when a wall of magazines is blocked off: "Penthouse", "Hustler", etc. I take notice. Oh, and I can be honest, I like boobies, so yeah, I notice those things.
You like boobies? no way, I never would have guessed that reading your blog.
-singed one of your 2 (3 tops) fans!
He only hits 3 when he counts himself. And, who doesn't like boobies?
Dammit, Mom. Just because it says "anonymous", that doesn't mean I don't know it's you. I should never have taught you how to use the internets.
Nicole, there is no abundance of porn at the Atlanta airport! Ajax knows that if he includes the words 'porn' 'tits' 'boobies' or 'vagina' in his blog that it draws traffic to his site. You will notice that there is a mention of one or more of those words OR a picture in everyone one of his posts. He isn't creative enough to realize there were numerously better opportunities to jam a picture of a sexy flight attendant or to invent some indiscretion in the airplane toilets. He is vain and shallow and wants to be king of the internets at whatever moral cost. Truth is I don't even believe that he has huge feet or that he is as tall as he claims. Another attempt at exaggerating his manliness.....I believe he is more of a 'Woody Allen' type and has stolen the pictures on this blog from some developmentally challenged dating site. Don't believe everything you read on the internet!!
"Anonymous", I'm with you on all of that, but, seriously, have you ever met me? My feet are freakish.
"Ajax" are you posting on your own blog as "Anonymous" just to make it appear that I am not your only fan?
Why yes, Nicole, I should have known that you are so brilliant and perceptive that you would figure out what a total lame ass I am. You must subjugate me immediately.
His feet are large enough to be effective paddles in an emergency. (Someone had to get your back on that point.)
I'm quickly thinking Anonymous is a badass. Also, thanks for the back up Elizabeth.
Post a Comment