"What Do You Do?"

She asked with a slight sneer and a hint of condescension.

Clearly, I'm some Hawaiian shirt wearing buffoon.

I really hate that question.

Welllllll....

I'm a former Army officer who is still sort of in the army.
I'm a lawyer who works at a law firm but not as a lawyer there.
I'm a writer who's written couple of books that haven't been published.
I'm an explorer in a world where everything's been mapped out.
I'm a willing helper who doesn't readily accept help and a giver who feels it's wrong to take.
I'm a people person who's a raging misanthrope
I'm a romantic who avoids romance
I'm a believer that nothing is important so that the only thing that can be is what you choose to make important AND that we're free to make our own choices, but if we're not choosing to make others important to us, we're flat wrong because nothing else is important

Oh, but I guess that didn't technically answer her question.
What I do?

somethingsomethingsomething, paycheck.