Who We're Dealing With (Moderately Risque)

In the past twenty four hours I have had the good fortune to have been relayed two tales that portray the Iraqis on the street, so to speak, a bit differently from how they might seem just from the TV reports.

Last night my battalion escorted over one hundred Iraqi police trainees back from Baghdad, where they'd flown in having received their training in Jordan. There was a minor delay getting them sent downtown, so they stayed here on FOB Warhorse for a few hours. I saw them all when I went to chow last night and ate with the patrol leader.

What I discovered this morning when I went to the gym was that after chow the soon to be policemen, representatives of the Iraqi government, had been herded over to the MWR hangar (Morale, Welfare, and Recreation; it has ping-pong and foosball tables and lights in it so we can keep security on large groups of foreign nationals). They were not the ideal guests.

Besides defecating everywhere (in the hangar, next to the port o' potties, outside, etc), they also took the opportunity to destroy the soccer balls that they were lent from the MWR facility to occupy their time while they waited. It wasn't that the balls were kicked around and were accidently popped; nope, they had been torn apart. Of course, that was merely passive aggression, as opposed to when one of them punted a basketball at a landing Blackhawk helicopter (the guy working the gym showed me the shorn remnant of the ball, along with
the mangled carcasses of the soccer balls). The rotor made quick work of the ball and the pilot came out with his pistol drawn, looking for the "@#@#$#@#$#er" that did it.

In addition to that, one of the US soldiers went over to use the port o potty, next to which a gaggle of the Iraqis was squatting (just talking to the best of my knowledge, though that may have been when they decided to play there aforementioned prank). Upon seeing the soldier advancing, one of the Iraqis jumped up, ran over to the port o' potty, and grabbed the door, though he did not go in. The Iraqi just smiled at the soldier as the soldier explained that he needed to use it. After the third time, the soldier had his fill and politely informed the Iraqi "@#$#@#$##er" that he was "gonna kick (his) $#$#", the Iraqi said, "You mean!" and proceeded square up. An MP that was supposed to be keeping an eye on things saw what was about to happen and removed the Iraqis from beside the source of contention.

This evening, while at chow, I was told a story by the Kiowa pilots (they do reconnaissance work for us) that gave me yet another reason to be glad I'm not a pilot. While doing their normal route clearance patrol, they came across two Iraqi cab drivers in what I can only relay as being an "indelicate" circumstance. The pilots said that they were still trying to come up for an alternate explanation for what they could have been doing. Of course, the sheepish smile on their faces, and the man watching from the back seat of the taxi, was very puzzling. I mentioned to one of the pilots, a lieutenant, that he needed to take the positive view of the whole situation and be thankful that he'd gone twenty five years without ever having to witness that sort of thing before.

So, other than that (aggression from allies, sodomy) things here have been pretty much the same as normal.