"Happy" Beach of Acapulco (By Popular Demand)

The first day I was at the beach for five hours. The water was clear, cool, and refreshing. The sun was radiant. I ended up with a mild sunburn.

I went back to the same spot the next day. I rented a chair and an umbrella. For the most part, I wrote, read, and napped. Later in the day, while writing, I noticed an old, fat, leathery white man with frost tipped hair, in a speedo, lying on his stomach, 15 feet away from me. He was facing me and staring at me through the unsquinted eye (the other being squinted because of the sun). I was wearing sunglasses, so he couldn't tell I'd noticed him staring at me. I paid him no attention and went back to writing. After about an hour of his unwavering glare, I wondered to myself, "Why in the hell is he eyescrewing the pudgy, pale honky, when there's a beach full of muscular latinos?"

That's when it dawned on me. I was in a part of the beach full of muscular latinos (and other men). I'd chosen that part of the beach because it wasn't crowded and I'd had a good time the day before (surrounded by men AND women). Apparently the gays take over on Saturdays. I hadn't noticed because of the writing, reading, and napping.

Other than a group of four women at a table in front of me, I counted no less than 20 men in the area around me, most, if not all, in briefs, speedos, or, in one case, what I can only politely describe as a banana hammock. The reality of the situation hit me with full force. The guys wrestling in the surf weren't buddies horsing around. It wasn't a friend innocently asking his friend to put sunscreen on his back. The two guys walking back and forth near the water weren't scouting for women. The poor looking young guys hanging out in the
rock formations at the end of the beach weren't just poor locals who couldn't afford to rent a chair or umbrella. (I will be explicit. They were prostitutes. I noticed another fat, old white man wander off behind the rocks and one of the prostitutes waved at me.)

I paid for the chair and umbrella, dammit. I wasn't leaving. The only concession I made to my discovery was that when I went to swim, I went to where the women were. I also made sure to leave well before sunset.