I´d signed up the night before for the day trip to Teotihuican, the largest native ruins near Mexico City. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the tour included the Plaza of the Three Cultures and the Basilica of Guadalupe. We got out of the van at the plaza and Pepe, our guide, had us introduce ourselves. I was the only American. Along for the tour were Alex, a Quebecois TV writer, two female Australian writers, Jaako (a Fin), a Czech woman, and a Mexican music producer from Tijuana. The Mexican was white with mussed lack hair and was hiding behind retro-chic sunglasses. Somehow, he wore his tight black jeans in a way where they were falling off his butt. His grey, zippered, hooded sweatshirt was open, revealing a Pac Man t-shirt, and his sleeves were pulled up to show his tattoed arm. He was approximately 5'6" and 130lbs and I surmised by the way he announced he was a music producer that he was, in point of fact, a butthead. When he further claimed that his uncle taught Carlos Santana how to play guitar, that his maternal grandfather founded a prestigious local university, and when he proceeded to interrupt Pepe to add his own thoughts on the tour, I was sure he was a butthead.
The three cultures represented are the Mexican (by a hideous modern monstrosity of a building at the edge), the Aztec (by the foundations of their Tlalelolco pyramids), and the Spanish (by the Templo de Santiago, a 17th century church). I was fascinated by the church because of its staned glass windows. They looked to simply be colored stones rather than glass and the effect their light had on the interior of the church was beautiful.
We then went to the complex of churches which make the grounds of the Basilica de Guadalupe. The Basilica is a Marianic church (dedicated to Mary and not Jesus), arguably the largest in the world. Mary of Guadalupe is hailed as "Queen of Mexico and Empress of the Americas." As I was a) wearing shorts and b) firmly against the concept of Marianic churches, I did not enter any of the buildings but instead soaked up the ambience and sunshine of the massive courtyard as, bizarrely, a flute band played "Sound of Silence."
Pepe had given everyone an hour to explore the churches so I had time to spare. Pepe had revealed the tour included neither admission to Teotihuican nor lunch, so I was a bit light in the wallet. After getting a reasonable amount of money out from a nearby bank, I ventured to get something to eat as well. I considered getting a cheap burger as a mid-morning snack but was quite pleased with myself for instead getting a large cup of freshly cut watermelon...until AFTER I took the first bite. Then the idiocy of eating unwashed fruit comprised of a majority of local water struck me. The thought of Montezuma's Revenge as I stumbled around an archaelogical site looking for a bathroom did not stop me from eating the rest of the fruit. I figured I was doomed already so I might as well enjoy myself.
Just outside of Teotihuican, Pepe took us to a local establishment where a man taught us about the myriad uses the Aztecs and other native peoples had for a special breed of cactus, to include making paper, clothing, and, of course, alcohol. If you are averse to drinking, don't come to Mexico. They gave us each three different shots. The first was a milky one which tasted honey-like and the music producer said was partially fermented using human excrement. Pepe did not correct him... The second shot was an almond-flavored liqueur which was rather thick. The last as simply tequila. I took the one with the worm since everyone else was repulsed. I downed it in a gulp and the music producer said I should have chewed it. Butthead.
It turned out it was all a well-planned attempt to bilk tourists out of money. The man Pepe had handed us off to proceeded to show us another man flint-knapping with obsidian and then show us various idols the ancients made. He then walked us into his show to get us to purchase any of his thousands of knicknacks. Classic Bait and Switch. "Oh man! Look at all the cultural things we're learning about cacti and stones! BAM! BAM! BAM! Three shots of booze and then a store where I can buy shiny rocks and colorful blankets? Hell's YES!!!!"
Luckily, my wild tolerance gained by 2 and 1/2 years of law school enabled me to keep a cool head. I allowed them to ply me with a few more shots of tequila, but, alas for them, I still failed to buy anything. My Carpenter miser genes are strong indeed. Alex was the only one of us to succumb to their brilliant plan, but he only bought a bottle of the almond liqueur, thus showing yet again that Quebecois just love being difficult.
After lunch, Pepe took us into Teotihuican. The site is massive, impressive and words fail to accurately describe it. I made a point of climbing the two pyramids, thought to be dedicated to the moon and the sun. As I'm pretty sure people are no longer allowed to climb the Egyptian pyramids, I'm going to say I've climed the tallest pyramid it's possible to climb (the sun pyramid is over 200' tall).
I'm happy to report that my apparently iron stomach had no problems with the tequila or the watermelon and after we got back to the hostel, I went out for supper with Alex, the Australian writers, and the Butthead. I actually had a very good time with all of them, particularly the Butthead, who wasn't nearly so Buttheadish after all. We wandered around the city drinking beer and sangria and talking about film, literature, and mute, midget Drag Queens.
The three cultures represented are the Mexican (by a hideous modern monstrosity of a building at the edge), the Aztec (by the foundations of their Tlalelolco pyramids), and the Spanish (by the Templo de Santiago, a 17th century church). I was fascinated by the church because of its staned glass windows. They looked to simply be colored stones rather than glass and the effect their light had on the interior of the church was beautiful.
We then went to the complex of churches which make the grounds of the Basilica de Guadalupe. The Basilica is a Marianic church (dedicated to Mary and not Jesus), arguably the largest in the world. Mary of Guadalupe is hailed as "Queen of Mexico and Empress of the Americas." As I was a) wearing shorts and b) firmly against the concept of Marianic churches, I did not enter any of the buildings but instead soaked up the ambience and sunshine of the massive courtyard as, bizarrely, a flute band played "Sound of Silence."
Pepe had given everyone an hour to explore the churches so I had time to spare. Pepe had revealed the tour included neither admission to Teotihuican nor lunch, so I was a bit light in the wallet. After getting a reasonable amount of money out from a nearby bank, I ventured to get something to eat as well. I considered getting a cheap burger as a mid-morning snack but was quite pleased with myself for instead getting a large cup of freshly cut watermelon...until AFTER I took the first bite. Then the idiocy of eating unwashed fruit comprised of a majority of local water struck me. The thought of Montezuma's Revenge as I stumbled around an archaelogical site looking for a bathroom did not stop me from eating the rest of the fruit. I figured I was doomed already so I might as well enjoy myself.
Just outside of Teotihuican, Pepe took us to a local establishment where a man taught us about the myriad uses the Aztecs and other native peoples had for a special breed of cactus, to include making paper, clothing, and, of course, alcohol. If you are averse to drinking, don't come to Mexico. They gave us each three different shots. The first was a milky one which tasted honey-like and the music producer said was partially fermented using human excrement. Pepe did not correct him... The second shot was an almond-flavored liqueur which was rather thick. The last as simply tequila. I took the one with the worm since everyone else was repulsed. I downed it in a gulp and the music producer said I should have chewed it. Butthead.
It turned out it was all a well-planned attempt to bilk tourists out of money. The man Pepe had handed us off to proceeded to show us another man flint-knapping with obsidian and then show us various idols the ancients made. He then walked us into his show to get us to purchase any of his thousands of knicknacks. Classic Bait and Switch. "Oh man! Look at all the cultural things we're learning about cacti and stones! BAM! BAM! BAM! Three shots of booze and then a store where I can buy shiny rocks and colorful blankets? Hell's YES!!!!"
Luckily, my wild tolerance gained by 2 and 1/2 years of law school enabled me to keep a cool head. I allowed them to ply me with a few more shots of tequila, but, alas for them, I still failed to buy anything. My Carpenter miser genes are strong indeed. Alex was the only one of us to succumb to their brilliant plan, but he only bought a bottle of the almond liqueur, thus showing yet again that Quebecois just love being difficult.
After lunch, Pepe took us into Teotihuican. The site is massive, impressive and words fail to accurately describe it. I made a point of climbing the two pyramids, thought to be dedicated to the moon and the sun. As I'm pretty sure people are no longer allowed to climb the Egyptian pyramids, I'm going to say I've climed the tallest pyramid it's possible to climb (the sun pyramid is over 200' tall).
I'm happy to report that my apparently iron stomach had no problems with the tequila or the watermelon and after we got back to the hostel, I went out for supper with Alex, the Australian writers, and the Butthead. I actually had a very good time with all of them, particularly the Butthead, who wasn't nearly so Buttheadish after all. We wandered around the city drinking beer and sangria and talking about film, literature, and mute, midget Drag Queens.
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