As the events in the Muslim world of late have shown, despite thousands of years of evidence on what works to acquire and maintain a stranglehold on a populace, modern (im)potentates have clearly been out of the loop. Thus, for their benefit and that of their subjugated masses, I present
The Dictator's Guide to Holding Power (Part 1: Entertainment)
First of all, people are sheep. That's the good news. They want to go where someone else leads and then, once they get where they've been taken, they're more than satisfied to eat, poop, and rut. So long as they aren't in the abattoir, they're content, even if they're in the holding pens just outside and hear the wailing within.
1. Entertainment
Unfortunately, unlike sheep, people require entertainment. Even if they want nothing more than to eat, poop, and rut, in between those activities they want distraction from their sheep lives. No self-respecting shepherd would do cartwheels to keep the sheep happy, but, unfortunately, bored human beings are way, way, way more deadly than sheep, so you have to play along. Bored humans bitch, but then they also don't take personal accountability for their lots in life, so that leaves the big guy in their cross hairs.
Julius Caesar understood this completely. When he was following the traditional Roman politician's career path, the Cursus Honorum, he nearly bankrupted himself as an Aedile, the official in charge of public games and festivals. His fellow politicians were ticked off because he was playing to the masses and, more troubling to them, it was working (they didn't mind him bankrupting himself). The people loved Caesar. He ended up going on a massive killing spree, otherwise glorified as the conquest of Gaul, mostly so he could recoup his losses from entertaining the Roman hoi polloi. When he became de facto dictator he was killed, as all know, but it wasn't because the Great Unwashed wanted him dead at all. He crushed the government and the people had him deified after his death.
Long story short, a smart dictator includes a sizable portion of his budget for entertaining the masses. Wave the opening flag at races. Throw out the first pitch. Do the coin toss at the 50 yard line. These things are all well and good, but the smart dictator makes himself the commissioner of all the leagues, plus hosts the Super Bowl/World Series/Finals at his mega sporting complex that he built.
Also, I'd suggest personally funding movies and TV shows. Nothing controversial, of course. Big mindless summer blockbusters and silly sitcoms. Give your country's Michael Bay or James Cameron $2 Billion and let him go nuts. Hire Super Models and Soft Core Adult Actresses to prance around in their underwear in some cookie-cutter-premised tv show. You're the government; you can outspend any rivals.
People are animals. Animals are attracted to shiny. Boobs, explosions, whatever. Never forget that and you'll be fine.
(BOOBS!)
+
(EXPLOSIONS!)
+
(SEAN CONNERY!)
=
HAPPINESS!!!!
Up Next: Free Food!
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