Gospel?

My job has the same annoying bureaucratic crap that anyone's job has.  Just my job does it in a "war zone". That makes it all the more frustrating and absurd.  For instance, because the military is working on winning hearts and minds, my company feels we should too.  We are constantly exhorted by higher headquarters to submit "Good News Stories!™"

The problem is...this job isn't exciting.  I don't mean just mine.  I mean pretty much anyone's job in any department over here. I do contractual compliance work.  That's definitely boring.  But what the hell is a food service worker going to do that's noteworthy? Nothing.  And that's fine.  So long as he slops food on my plate when I ask for it, he's doing his job.  Good.  Great.  Not sexy.

Pretty much every day is the same as the day before and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that and the...etc.

Still, they want the "Good News Stories!™" so that some boss here can show it to some boss there and get promotions and/or sexual favors (probably just promotions, but you never can be sure with the way they beg for these things).

We try to think of things to send them, but, as I said, it's tough when everything here is routine.

How do you make Good News out of the day to day monotonous activities here?

For example:

Cleaning Crews 

While I love the smell of napalm in the morning, this smell is terrible.

Vehicle Maintenance

Afghan children's heads are a bitch to get out of a wheel well...trust me.

Project Management

Nothing funny to say; I've heard conversations like this... and been in those meetings.

After being told for the umpteenth time that our stories weren't "exciting enough" some of our guys got upset.  Finally they came up with the only thing that could surely count as being exciting out here.

 GOOD NEWS STORY: Repelling an Invasion of a Monster Alien from Outer Space (Singlehandedly)

"Kabul, Afghanistan- Joe the Plumber was enjoying one of his OSHA-mandated smoke breaks when, lo and behold, Lotharix the Destroyer alit from his interstellar craft and demanded the blood of babies and a lock of Martha Stewart's hair or else he'd subjugate the entire planet.  Fortunately for all of mankind, Joe happened to be carrying Zolgir, Smiter of Injustice, and so he slew our prospective overlord before he went back to inspecting toilets."

For some reason, management was not thankful for their salvation.  They didn't respond.