People don't like it when they feel like they're being judged. It seems to upset them when I'm being judgmental. I find this to be hysterical. We ALL judge. At least I'm honest with them (and myself) about it. Since so many others don't seem to understand this, I will give a very handy set of guidelines to help:
1. You are being judged.
2. You are judged on your decisions.
3. Your worst decision overrules virtually all of your good decisions.
Not fair? Welcome to planet Earth. Get over it.
To be clear, when I say I'm judging, that's not to say that I'm going to *do* anything. I'm not passing along a sentence. I have no right to do that. So, my judgment won't impact directly. But who the hell do people think they are that they can dictate my thoughts? If someone acts poorly enough, I SHOULD judge them and react accordingly. We're responsible for our actions; own them. Don't want to be judged poorly? Don't be an idiot/jerk.
First and foremost, decision-making determines intelligence. Learn how to make good decisions, THEN invent something mind-boggling. Otherwise, I'm going to think you're a dumbass, ultimately, no matter what earth shattering idea you come up with.
You're judged by your worst. It's sensible to do so. If you donate a hundred billion dollars to charities but purposely shake a baby to death, you're a murderer. If you're forthright and honest 90% of the time, you're a liar. Try to spin it any way you want, but that's how it is. Lawyers love pointing out that they're lawyers as being indicative of their intelligence. Nope. They make some of the most idiotic personal decisions anyone makes. I can't tell you how many complain of only realizing they shouldn't have focused so much on work instead of on their families AFTER they've had numerous divorces. "Really? Figured that all out by yourself, did you?"
This has come about because I recently read an article in the New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/01/science/01angier.html?src=me&ref=general) touting Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman as a serious intellect. Now, to be fair, Ms. Portman has apparently done well in her education; in fact, decidedly better than I have done. She's always had all "A"s. She attended Harvard (not sure if she graduated). She was shortlisted for a prestigious high school scientific research award.
However...
She also is now pregnant by and engaged to a choreographer named Benjamin Millipied. I take issue with that. Specifically, that his name is a take-off of millipede, "thousand feet." I honestly hope his name and profession are a fortuitous coincidence, like an electrician named "Sparks." Because, if he intentionally made his name Millipied, that's just insufferable. Was Centipied too little? Was "Man with Many Feet" too Native American? Yes, if that name choice was intentional, I judge him. Poorly (meaning I have a poor view of him, not that my ability to judge is poor...though I leave that to others to judge).
Additionally, if that name was intentional, I judge her also. People get lost in the weeds/details and don't see the big picture. He might have dreamy eyes. He might have a way with a turn of phrase. He might have simply been there (don't laugh; from what I've seen in life, sometimes that's all it takes). However, he is ultimately the kind of guy who is a choreographer and names himself Millipied.
If you can't understand why that reflects on him and thus her in a bad way, stop reading. You're just not going to get what I'm trying to say...
Here. I'll try to make it clearer.
I come from a family of highly, highly educated people. My father, two uncles, a grandfather, a great-grandfather, and a first cousin are/were professors. My other uncle is an aeronautical engineer. (Side note: the women in the family are highly intelligent as well. The first cousin is female and a professor of mathematics. As my family is predominantly Southern, that limited opportunities for the prior generations to stamp their intelligence with degrees). While I put little stock in such things (as paper does not confer intelligence), I have multiple degrees. I'm fairly obviously "intelligent" or "intellectual." If I marry a plumber named "Terdz", it's a recipe for disaster, no matter how beautiful and charming she might be.
My father has been married thrice. Wife 1, my brother's mother, is beautiful and intelligent. Wife 2, my mother, is beautiful and intelligent. Wife 3, while also good-looking and intelligent, is also a college professor. Hmmm. Wonder why that one stuck? (Though this simplifies to the point of ignoring some fairly substantial personality "quirks" of all persons involved. Also, he might have 2 PhDs, but I do judge him for his personal decisions as well.)
All I mean to say is, look at the big picture, people. People put very little big picture into the most important decision they'll ever make: whom they marry. You can't get caught up in the details alone. The details are important, of course, but make sure the big picture fits first. If you need a vehicle, you don't start getting overjoyed at the fact it has power-steering and automatic locks before you check to see what make and model it is first. If you're a hippie but you buy a Hummer because it has a great stereo, I'm going to think you're an idiot. How many people do you know that you said "This is going to be a disaster" when they went to get married and, lo and behold, it was a disaster? It's fairly obvious. That's all I'm saying.
So. Natalie Portman is a stunningly beautiful and accomplished actress who is also, possibly, a scientific dynamo. And she's going to marry a dancer. Excuse me, choreographer. Right, because if she's that intelligent and intellectually curious, that's going to work. Because when she's no longer stunningly beautiful and he can't dance any more, they'll have...something in common. Right. As my friend once brilliantly surmised, "Opposites may attract, but they don't stay together."
At the end of the day, you're judged by your bad personal decisions and those have more weight than the good ones. As the father from "@#$!mydadsays" put it, "A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."
As for my personal life, what with being the acme of evolution, I have no equal and thus that is why I remain unmarried.
Until Blake Lively and/or Melanie Iglesias see the light.
1. You are being judged.
2. You are judged on your decisions.
3. Your worst decision overrules virtually all of your good decisions.
Not fair? Welcome to planet Earth. Get over it.
To be clear, when I say I'm judging, that's not to say that I'm going to *do* anything. I'm not passing along a sentence. I have no right to do that. So, my judgment won't impact directly. But who the hell do people think they are that they can dictate my thoughts? If someone acts poorly enough, I SHOULD judge them and react accordingly. We're responsible for our actions; own them. Don't want to be judged poorly? Don't be an idiot/jerk.
First and foremost, decision-making determines intelligence. Learn how to make good decisions, THEN invent something mind-boggling. Otherwise, I'm going to think you're a dumbass, ultimately, no matter what earth shattering idea you come up with.
You're judged by your worst. It's sensible to do so. If you donate a hundred billion dollars to charities but purposely shake a baby to death, you're a murderer. If you're forthright and honest 90% of the time, you're a liar. Try to spin it any way you want, but that's how it is. Lawyers love pointing out that they're lawyers as being indicative of their intelligence. Nope. They make some of the most idiotic personal decisions anyone makes. I can't tell you how many complain of only realizing they shouldn't have focused so much on work instead of on their families AFTER they've had numerous divorces. "Really? Figured that all out by yourself, did you?"
This has come about because I recently read an article in the New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/01/science/01angier.html?src=me&ref=general) touting Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman as a serious intellect. Now, to be fair, Ms. Portman has apparently done well in her education; in fact, decidedly better than I have done. She's always had all "A"s. She attended Harvard (not sure if she graduated). She was shortlisted for a prestigious high school scientific research award.
However...
She also is now pregnant by and engaged to a choreographer named Benjamin Millipied. I take issue with that. Specifically, that his name is a take-off of millipede, "thousand feet." I honestly hope his name and profession are a fortuitous coincidence, like an electrician named "Sparks." Because, if he intentionally made his name Millipied, that's just insufferable. Was Centipied too little? Was "Man with Many Feet" too Native American? Yes, if that name choice was intentional, I judge him. Poorly (meaning I have a poor view of him, not that my ability to judge is poor...though I leave that to others to judge).
Additionally, if that name was intentional, I judge her also. People get lost in the weeds/details and don't see the big picture. He might have dreamy eyes. He might have a way with a turn of phrase. He might have simply been there (don't laugh; from what I've seen in life, sometimes that's all it takes). However, he is ultimately the kind of guy who is a choreographer and names himself Millipied.
If you can't understand why that reflects on him and thus her in a bad way, stop reading. You're just not going to get what I'm trying to say...
Here. I'll try to make it clearer.
I come from a family of highly, highly educated people. My father, two uncles, a grandfather, a great-grandfather, and a first cousin are/were professors. My other uncle is an aeronautical engineer. (Side note: the women in the family are highly intelligent as well. The first cousin is female and a professor of mathematics. As my family is predominantly Southern, that limited opportunities for the prior generations to stamp their intelligence with degrees). While I put little stock in such things (as paper does not confer intelligence), I have multiple degrees. I'm fairly obviously "intelligent" or "intellectual." If I marry a plumber named "Terdz", it's a recipe for disaster, no matter how beautiful and charming she might be.
My father has been married thrice. Wife 1, my brother's mother, is beautiful and intelligent. Wife 2, my mother, is beautiful and intelligent. Wife 3, while also good-looking and intelligent, is also a college professor. Hmmm. Wonder why that one stuck? (Though this simplifies to the point of ignoring some fairly substantial personality "quirks" of all persons involved. Also, he might have 2 PhDs, but I do judge him for his personal decisions as well.)
All I mean to say is, look at the big picture, people. People put very little big picture into the most important decision they'll ever make: whom they marry. You can't get caught up in the details alone. The details are important, of course, but make sure the big picture fits first. If you need a vehicle, you don't start getting overjoyed at the fact it has power-steering and automatic locks before you check to see what make and model it is first. If you're a hippie but you buy a Hummer because it has a great stereo, I'm going to think you're an idiot. How many people do you know that you said "This is going to be a disaster" when they went to get married and, lo and behold, it was a disaster? It's fairly obvious. That's all I'm saying.
So. Natalie Portman is a stunningly beautiful and accomplished actress who is also, possibly, a scientific dynamo. And she's going to marry a dancer. Excuse me, choreographer. Right, because if she's that intelligent and intellectually curious, that's going to work. Because when she's no longer stunningly beautiful and he can't dance any more, they'll have...something in common. Right. As my friend once brilliantly surmised, "Opposites may attract, but they don't stay together."
At the end of the day, you're judged by your bad personal decisions and those have more weight than the good ones. As the father from "@#$!mydadsays" put it, "A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."
As for my personal life, what with being the acme of evolution, I have no equal and thus that is why I remain unmarried.
Until Blake Lively and/or Melanie Iglesias see the light.
6 comments:
I heard that Portman's paramour, in an attempt to increase his global standing, is changing his name to "Human."
Get it? Human Millipied?
oh yeah i'm surprised you didn't make fun of his use of the french "pied," which means foot. you're name is french. you're a self-loathing frenchman. wave your white flag.
Me? I'm a Greco-Angle (Ajax Carpenter).
The juxtaposition of this post against the earlier "Open Letter to Lively McSexpot & Notta Minor" makes for the only real pay-off for either entry.
Hundreds of words mill about in an attempt to bludgeon the reader into understanding that Natalie Portman's decision to wed & bear the child of a choreographer (excuse me, dancer) is a Bad Decision™.
Which (of course) bears no semblance to Ajax Carpenter's prior plea to Photoshopped pixies.
One can only hope that this was the intended effect.
As "anonymous" (SH, I'd bet) used two words I had to look up (juxtaposition and bludgeon), I'll return the favor by way of fairly obvious explanation using the language of my ancestral lands: ΚΑΛΛΊΣΤῌ
where are the pics of celebrity cleavage?
You will be granted my shiniest nickel upon our next encounter for being able to follow the loaves of bread pointing in my direction. In return, I'll own both of my "Okay" votes.
That being said, do you really think the pay-off of an amused-exhale/eye-roll combo in a relatively meager portion of the population is worth them slogging through over 2k words? That's hardly American (much less reminiscent of apple pie), though it is admittedly discordant...
I'd recommend that you consider toning/honing your wordcraft, but realize that it would most likely require reducing your overtly implicit, consistent call to form a cult of personality at the feet of Señor Carpenter.
And we both know *that's* not going to happen. ^_^
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